There were some happy memories of my childhood…and some not so happy memories of my childhood. I remember living with my grandmother Mary (who passed away in December 2001) and I loved her home cooking. I had a good relationship with my mother (up until 1993).
Then there are the not so happy memories. I was sexually abused at 8 years old by a friend of the family. I was also sexually abused at age 17 by another friend of my family. Those experiences changed me forever. I became more promiscuous and slept with random men.
My mother physically abused me from age 10 to age 14.
At age 15, I got in trouble for sleeping with a 25 year old man. At age 16, I had a boyfriend old enough to be my grandfather. That relationship lasted for two years and resulted in the birth of my son, Ezra (who is now 10 years old).
I’m 29 years old now and I learned from my past mistakes. I am not wild and promiscuous anymore. God put a stop to my wild and promiscuous ways when I became a mother at the age of 19. The father was never in the picture (he’s now a sexual offender and can’t be around kids).
I learned about sex from books and not my mother. I was reluctant to tell my mother that I had my period at age 13.
I had to mature real fast when dealing with older men and being raped repeatedly by a family friend. I told my mother that I was sexually abused and she was speechless. She didn’t know what to say.
Even though I was saved, I acted as if I weren’t saved. Despite my tumultuous childhood, the Holy Ghost never left me. God told me to leave my much older boyfriend in November 2001…and I did just that. I listened to God and now I have a better relationship with Him than I did when I was 13.
Next June, I turn 30. I’ve been on this Earth for nearly 30 years, and learned a lot as I grew up. I’ve been through a lot and I’m much more mature than most people my age.
Through all of my good (and bad) experiences, God never let me. He was always there for me (when my earthly parents were not).
I’m telling my experiences here because I need to. Keeping it bottled up inside won’t do me any good.
I am much more wiser now than when I was a child. I don’t want any child to end up like I did, not learning about sex from their parent(s) and dating much older men.